There Goes The Neighbourhood

I’m singing to the baby as she wallows in the bath. I’m improvising, but I’m channelling Bette Midler, and my volume is high. ‘Nothing could be finer, than washing your vagina in the SPRINGTIME’ I belt, and that’s when I hear the clink of a teacup and realise that I’m next to an open window and the elderly neighbours are in their garden next door.