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Homeschooling, Partying Royals and Saying Yes

18th July 2017

British Royals Know How to Party

Last week, Princess Beatrice sliced Ed Sheeran’s cheek open accidentally, when the silly bugger got in the way of the sword as Bea was pretending to knight James Blunt at a party in the Royal Lodge at Windsor.

This obviously sounds like a top night and we should all be devastated that our e-vites ended up in the spam folder. It is heartening to see that Princess Beatrice appears to be following in the party animal tradition that made the British Empire so great.

Beatrice’s dad Prince Andrew, known as Randy Andy (although he is quoted as saying that he didn’t go in for sexual athletics, because he hit his head on the bedpost) used to head up a gang of toffs that the press called the “Queenyboppers”.

He married Sarah Ferguson, Princess Beatrice’s mother, a racy redhead who was seen as a breath of fresh air into Buckingham Palace. That is, until she drew Shy Di into her shenanigans.

Under Fergie’s influence, Princess Di wore false comedy breasts to one party and dressed up as a policewoman and tried to gatecrash Prince Andrew’s stag do in 1986. (Prince Charles was a more low-key figure, preferring to talk to his plants, or imagine he was a tampon, and he was famously incredibly upset at Diana, Fergie and Andrew when they tried to ‘debag’ him, or pull his pants off on the Swiss ski slopes.)

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