Sex After Parenthood
27th May 2015
Birth injuries, lost libido and extreme exhaustion: just a few of the many factors that can affect a couple’s sex life after they have children. It can be hard to access specific and practical advice on managing this stuff. It’s loaded and emotional. Life has changed utterly, both practically and emotionally, and sex can be one of the hardest things for couples to talk about easily. For months after having a baby, women are hormonal casseroles; bodies awash with post-pregnancy and (often) breastfeeding hormones. Many women have birth injuries with intense emotional as well as physical consequences. Add psychotic sleeplessness to the mix, and it can be a minefield.
For partners, it’s tricky. Even really understanding partners can find it hard to know where the line is. Should you let a new mum feel like she’s still a babe, still desirable to you? Or if you emerge from the ensuite in your comedy elephant trunk underpants (they used to drive her wild!), will she lay upon you the gaze of death?
When your doctor says ‘You’re good to go!’ after your six-week check-up, are you allowed to demand a second opinion? How long is it OK to wait? How much pain is normal? How erotic is weeping during sex on a scale of 1 to 10? And critically, how do you talk about this stuff with your partner?
The Longest Shortest Time podcast and website is a new discovery of mine. Their podcast “The Parents Guide To Doing It’ is a fantastic listen.
With guest Dan Savage (a favourite of mine, I adore him) a panel of experts break down all the common issues that face couples in bed after becoming parents, and dish out practical and specific hints on how to navigate that life-stage together.
Good luck out there, mums and dads. Be happy!
Also: Dan Savage on how to have a wonderful long-term relationship.
Also: Longest Shortest Time deals specifically with pelvic pain and birth injuries.