Helpful advice from a 1920′s health film on heath, hygiene and all matters sec-shual. First, a film for the young men.
Readers, take note that athletics, an abundant outdoor life, wholesome companions, lots of good fun, constant occupation and determination will help a boy who has acquired the habit of masturbation (“self-abuse”) to overcome it and repair any harm it may have done. It is a selfish, childish, stupid habit.
Also, pimples do NOT indicate sex disease. Phew! A victory for scientific discovery, although a sad day for spotty virgins trying to attach some Fonzie-esque cred to their pustulating faces. Finally, I’m a little confused. Our educational clip ends with the father on his hands and knees, wildly bouncing a baby on his back. Is this an extension of the earlier horse metaphor? Is this chaste husband now a tamed stallion? Answers on a postcard please.
Next, a film for the young ladies:
I watched this clip as I did calisthenics in my palm-filled courtyard. Constipation? What constipation? But I’m bummed – the lady of today needs brains, fidelity and sound training to be a fit mother, this tells us. Once again, my Arts degree proves useless. But all was well by the end, when I was overjoyed to meet again with the syphilitic children who can’t catch a ball.
As always, happy Hump Day, and all the best with your climax!
Sex Tips From 1972: The Hairy Joy Of Hairy Sex (It’s sexual. And it’s hairy.)