Miranda Kerr, Bearded, Finds Pleasure ‘Alone…And Together.’

Have you ever railed at the fact that we ladies are denied the erotic pleasure of idly perusing  a glossy magazine spread featuring a bearded long-haired hipster sprawled on the floor wearing thigh-high stockings, eye-fondling us intensely while holding his scratchy vest provocatively away from his naughty, naughty chest?

It’s always Miranda Kerr, right? With her perky boozies and her non-frizzy hairs and her round rumptacular buttocks? Women buy these magazines, dammit. When will we get to pant ( tongues out like Labradors) at the sight of some hairy man-meat artfully arranged in pleasing poses?

Right now, sisters.  Worry no more! The Bondi Hipsters have delivered.

Here y’are!

  

 

I love how these photos make the whole ‘sex-bomb’ shtick looks so absurd. He plays it so beautifully straight, and I think I love him.

This interesting piece from Peach magazine deconstructed Miranda’s super-saucy GQ spread and accompanying interview, which included remarks like these:

I love the female body and truly appreciate the female form… I definitely need a man in the bedroom, however — a nice strong chest to lie on. Still, I want to explore… One-night stands aren’t my thing. I made Orlando wait six months until I even kissed him.

I always ask for a critique on my performance. I always want to better myself in every way. The older I get, the more confident I am about asking for things I enjoy. One thing I’ve noticed is now that I’m having less sex my body isn’t as toned. The more sex I have, the more defined my arms and stomach get.

From a star with such a highly managed image, Peach writer Amelia says, this narrative of sexuality is  carefully crafted image, and it’s a disappointing narrative.

Her comments reinforce this pervasive ideology that women’s sexuality is something they have, and use, and give up, as if it is something separate to them as a human, and not stitched into the fabric of their identity in an incredibly complex and nuanced and beautiful way. It is this ideology that tells us that in order to be truly valued, women must be hot, cute, sexy, pretty, fun, outgoing, playful, feminine, accessible.

The truth is, female sexuality is far more interesting and multi-faceted than this one-dimensional, cloying “cool girl” parody created by the media culture we live in.

It is easy to dismiss this as unimportant, and there are far greater battles that women are fighting than arguing over a lascivious nude photoshoot in a men’s magazine. In the relentless media cycle, this is just another story, which will be quickly replaced.

But these issues are part of a much more complex and varied continuum in which women are defined by their sexuality and men are encouraged and educated to hold a certain set of standards and values around the way women experience and express their sexuality. This causes harm to women and men, and plays out in our society ways large and small.

What’s your take on Miranda? And do you also love my Bondi hipster boyfriend?