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Lost Bloggy

19th November 2017

Dearly beloved,

My website has been infected with a virus from hell and I must shut it down while I try and save my content.

I have so much to tell you about life in France. Since my last update I fell off the toilet and down the stairs, sang drunken late-night Radiohead with new friends, was nearly blown off a Roman bridge by the Mistral and was boisterously bitten by bedbugs in Barcelona.

I’m studying now, the kids are doing great and every day my French improves a little, which is thrilling. It’s cold now; the mittens and beanies are on and the Christmas lights are being strung up around our lovely little town, which grows quieter every week as the summer becomes more of a distant memory.

Wish me luck dealing with this bastard malware.

This is to the donkey shaggers who infected my blog:


And this is for the rest of you:


I’ll be back, sooner rather than later, I hope.

In the meantime, you can email me at if you need bad, inappropriate, mildly funny and largely forgettable anecdotes to help you pass five minutes of your day, or keep up on Instagram at

No comments possible on this new blog yet, but visit me at Instagram or Facebook if you want to send a message.