Dearly beloved,

My website has been infected with a virus from hell and I must shut it down while I try and save my content.

I have so much to tell you about life in France. Since my last update I fell off the toilet and down the stairs, sang drunken late-night Radiohead with new friends, was nearly blown off a Roman bridge by the Mistral and was boisterously bitten by bedbugs in Barcelona.

I’m studying now, the kids are doing great and every day my French improves a little, which is thrilling. It’s cold now; the mittens and beanies are on and the Christmas lights are being strung up around our lovely little town, which grows quieter every week as the summer becomes more of a distant memory.

Wish me luck dealing with this bastard malware.

This is to the donkey shaggers who infected my blog:

And this is for the rest of you:

I’ll be back, sooner rather than later, I hope.

In the meantime, you can email me at mogantosh@gmail.com if you need bad, inappropriate, mildly funny and largely forgettable anecdotes to help you pass five minutes of your day, or keep up on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/mogantosh/