I missed last Wednesday’s Sex Tips From The Past post. I meant to write it, but it was such a busy week, and I was so tired; you know how it goes sometimes. I should have just scheduled it in – but I didn’t. Really, I should have just got started, right? I would have gotten into it once I started, even if I didn’t feel like it at first…
This train of thought has gone to a place I had not intended.
Enough about me!
Back to historical sexytimes.
German philosopher, theologian, alchemist and astronomer Albertus Magnus, also known as Albert the Great and Albert of Cologne….Cologne…not that one needs an excuse, but what better a time to insert the Old Spice Man?
And hello again. Magnus died in 1280 AD, but before that he ranked five sexual positions from ‘most acceptable’ to ‘least acceptable’ as follows:
4) standing and
5) a tergo (a well classy Latin way of saying ‘in the style of the dogs’).
Magnus said the missionary was the only completely “natural” position; and the others were on a sliding scale of naughtiness.
The Karma Sutra, ancient erotic Indian text, contains such a total of 64 positions (known as the 64 Arts) that include the Galloping Horse, the Rutting Deer and the Congress of the Cow. Should you be in a gourmet rather than anthropomorphic mood, Cosmopolitan Magazine’s offerings include ‘The Linguini’ and ‘The Sensual Spoon.’
Missing, in my opinion, the common positions ‘Wait, Did You Hear That Noise?’, ‘You’re On My Hair’ and the ‘God, I Really Should Wax my Legs’.
But, prego, allora, if you have a busy week ahead, here are some brilliant ways to multi-task getting on the job with, um, getting on with the job. (Cartoons found here.)
The Yardwork Position
The Good Food Mood
And finally, one I’d like to send out to my dear friend Shelley: The Doing Your Taxes
As always, my friends, happy Hump Day and all the very best with your climax.
Other Sex Tips From The Past:
The Hairy Joy of Hairy Sex
Sex Tips From 1962: Register your reluctance to do ‘unusual practices’ by outraged, silent acquiescence
Sex Tips to Avoid (doughnuts, forks.)
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